July 19, 2012

Some Star Wars: A New Hope Questions Answered

Many people seem to not enjoy these movies because they think “that could
never happen” and things like that. These are the answers to the most
commonly asked questions. Hopefully, you will finally find peace.

STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE (Episode V + VI to come)

Q: Why do the Stormtroopers wear that clumsy body armor, if it doesn’t stop
laser blasts?
A: Because they’ve indoctrinated the entire population to be scared
shitless of people in white armor.

Q: How does the Death Star travel move from system to system?
A: A real big rubber band.

Q: Why does Death Star have that trench around it?
A: That’s where the rubber band fits.

Q: If Darth Vader was strong with the force, how come he didn’t notice Han
Solo coming to shoot him near the end?
A: He was busy trying to figure out how come the kid in the X-wing seemed
so familiar.

Q: Why can Death Star’s prison doors be opened without a key of any kind?
A: Everyone aboard the Death Star is on the same side.

Q: Why was Luke carrying around a string with a hook on the end in the
first place?
A: It came with his stormtrooper armor; their equipment belts are sort of
like Swiss Army knives.

Q: Why doesn’t Chewie get a medal at the end?
A: Official explanation, from the old Official Star Wars Fan Club: medals
are against his religion.

Q: How does Han consider Chewie? Sometimes he treats him like a human, and
other times like a pet (patting him on the head)?
A: It would seem Lucas couldn’t make up his mind. Several early drafts of
the script include descriptions like “Chewbacca and his master.” I once
read a fan-fiction story that included a conversation between Han Solo
and Harrison Ford. At one point, Ford asked about Han’s relationship
with Chewie; the response was, “Nothing like that, we’re just good
friends.”

Q: If Obi-Wan a long time ago hid Luke away from Darth Vader, why didn’t he
change Luke’s name?
A: I have not the remotest idea.

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