I’m British and so I use the word wank a lot. If you didn’t know
wank means masturbate.
I found out something funny during the film Fight Club.
In the scene when Brad Pitt is explaining the rules change the
word fight for wank. Try this the next time you watch the film.
One of the best line is “when someone goes limp, taps out the
wank is over…”
Showing posts with label movies and tv. Show all posts
Showing posts with label movies and tv. Show all posts
July 19, 2012
Some Star Wars: A New Hope Questions Answered
Many people seem to not enjoy these movies because they think “that could
never happen” and things like that. These are the answers to the most
commonly asked questions. Hopefully, you will finally find peace.
STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE (Episode V + VI to come)
Q: Why do the Stormtroopers wear that clumsy body armor, if it doesn’t stop
laser blasts?
A: Because they’ve indoctrinated the entire population to be scared
shitless of people in white armor.
Q: How does the Death Star travel move from system to system?
A: A real big rubber band.
Q: Why does Death Star have that trench around it?
A: That’s where the rubber band fits.
Q: If Darth Vader was strong with the force, how come he didn’t notice Han
Solo coming to shoot him near the end?
A: He was busy trying to figure out how come the kid in the X-wing seemed
so familiar.
Q: Why can Death Star’s prison doors be opened without a key of any kind?
A: Everyone aboard the Death Star is on the same side.
Q: Why was Luke carrying around a string with a hook on the end in the
first place?
A: It came with his stormtrooper armor; their equipment belts are sort of
like Swiss Army knives.
Q: Why doesn’t Chewie get a medal at the end?
A: Official explanation, from the old Official Star Wars Fan Club: medals
are against his religion.
Q: How does Han consider Chewie? Sometimes he treats him like a human, and
other times like a pet (patting him on the head)?
A: It would seem Lucas couldn’t make up his mind. Several early drafts of
the script include descriptions like “Chewbacca and his master.” I once
read a fan-fiction story that included a conversation between Han Solo
and Harrison Ford. At one point, Ford asked about Han’s relationship
with Chewie; the response was, “Nothing like that, we’re just good
friends.”
Q: If Obi-Wan a long time ago hid Luke away from Darth Vader, why didn’t he
change Luke’s name?
A: I have not the remotest idea.
never happen” and things like that. These are the answers to the most
commonly asked questions. Hopefully, you will finally find peace.
STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE (Episode V + VI to come)
Q: Why do the Stormtroopers wear that clumsy body armor, if it doesn’t stop
laser blasts?
A: Because they’ve indoctrinated the entire population to be scared
shitless of people in white armor.
Q: How does the Death Star travel move from system to system?
A: A real big rubber band.
Q: Why does Death Star have that trench around it?
A: That’s where the rubber band fits.
Q: If Darth Vader was strong with the force, how come he didn’t notice Han
Solo coming to shoot him near the end?
A: He was busy trying to figure out how come the kid in the X-wing seemed
so familiar.
Q: Why can Death Star’s prison doors be opened without a key of any kind?
A: Everyone aboard the Death Star is on the same side.
Q: Why was Luke carrying around a string with a hook on the end in the
first place?
A: It came with his stormtrooper armor; their equipment belts are sort of
like Swiss Army knives.
Q: Why doesn’t Chewie get a medal at the end?
A: Official explanation, from the old Official Star Wars Fan Club: medals
are against his religion.
Q: How does Han consider Chewie? Sometimes he treats him like a human, and
other times like a pet (patting him on the head)?
A: It would seem Lucas couldn’t make up his mind. Several early drafts of
the script include descriptions like “Chewbacca and his master.” I once
read a fan-fiction story that included a conversation between Han Solo
and Harrison Ford. At one point, Ford asked about Han’s relationship
with Chewie; the response was, “Nothing like that, we’re just good
friends.”
Q: If Obi-Wan a long time ago hid Luke away from Darth Vader, why didn’t he
change Luke’s name?
A: I have not the remotest idea.
Things You Wouldn’t Know Without Movies
-It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting.
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it””s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
-A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
-If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
-Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
-It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts – your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
-When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head, they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
-No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
-Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
-When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
-You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
-Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it””s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
-An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.
-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
Three FASTEST means of Communication
Three FASTEST means of Communication :
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER – Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER – Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
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