Beat the Casino

Q: What is the only way to keep your money from the casinos in Las Vegas?

A: When you get off the plane, walk into the propellers

Broken Cage

Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart?

A: "Cheap, cheap!"

$8 Bill

A crook mistakenly made a counterfeit $8 bill instead of a $10 bill. He decided to try it out anyway, so he went to the bank and asked for change.

The teller looked at the $8 bill and gave the crook two $4 bills as change.

Bandaged blonde

A blonde with bandaged arm and foot meets her friend.
- What happened to you?
- I was using a vacuum cleaner and it hit me in the arm
- But why is your foot bandaged?
- I kicked it back!

At school

- Bobby, would you like to go to heaven?
- Yes Miss, but I really need to be going home after the classes

We're all gonna die

- Doctor, I ate pizza with the expired date of consumption, what'll happen to me, am I gonna die?
- Well everyone is going to die some day, you know....
- Oh my God! What have I done? Now we're all gonna die!

100 year old man

A 60-year-old man is getting his annual physical:
- Doc, do you think I'll live another 40 years so I can reach 100?
- That depends," says the doctor. Do you smoke?
- No
- Do you drink?
- No
- Do you fool around with loose women?
- Of course not
- Well, then, why the hell do you want to live for another 40 years?

like Coke bottle

Hubby : Darling years ago you had a figure like Coke bottle.


Wife : Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it is 1.5ltr.